Lentil "Gravy"

I downloaded a free cookbook on Kindle the other day - 'Thug Kitchen: Eat Like You Give A F(bleep)'  - even before trying any of the recipes it's my new favorite cookbook just because of how funny it is! Warning: if bad language and swearing bother you, you are absolutely not going to like this book - if you read it anyway I don't want to hear about how offended you are. Because you will be. I, however, live with Dave and I'm pretty sure there isn't a swear word that I haven't heard so I can take it LOL - and once you get past the language it's just a funny book. They tell it like it is and I laughed out loud numerous times just reading the intro!

I made their recipe for lentil gravy - because gravy. I was super excited to make "gravy" out of lentils thinking some genius has discovered a way for me to eat gravy and have it be good for me. Wrong. This is not at all "gravy"! What it is though is really good lentil soup, so I do recommend making it...just don't be fooled into thinking you're spreading this on top of biscuits and it's going to taste like actual biscuits and gravy.


Lentil Gravy Soup (their recipe minus the swear words!)

• 1 1/2 cups green or brown lentils
• 5 cups water
• salt
• 1/2 small onion, diced
• 1 teaspoon olive oil
• 1 teaspoon dried thyme
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1/8 teaspoon ground pepper
• 1 Tablespoon flour
• 1 cup vegetable broth
• 1 teaspoon soy sauce or tamari
• 1 teaspoon paprika
• 1/2 teaspoon sherry or red wine vinegar

1. In a pot, bring the lentils, water, and a pinch of salt to a boil. Let those (bleep) simmer until they are tender and falling apart, about 40 minutes. Prep everything else while you wait, or you can to this (bleep) step the night before and refrigerate. 

2. In a small skillet, saute the onion in the olive oil over medium heat until golden around the edges, about 3 minutes. Add the thyme, garlic, and pepper and cook for another 30 seconds. Turn off the heat.

3. When the lentils are done, drain them of whatever water is left in there and throw them back in the pot you cooked them in. In a small bowl, mix the flour into the broth. Then add the broth mixture to the lentils along with the onions, soy sauce, paprika, and vinegar. Grab an immersion blender and blend until smooth or throw it all in a regular blender and go to town. Heat it all back up on the stove in that pot again and let it simmer to thicken, 2 to 3 minutes.